Blessing and Encouragment

Titus 2: 3-5

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

On Tuesday night I wanted to stay home and well, drink my wine and mope in my misery. I received a text before leaving work from my church leader's wife reminding us about house church ( home group). So I decided to go, my spirit was yearning for spiritual leadership, and something healthy to drink from the word of God.

I got to their beautiful house, and turns out our leader was gone on a ministry trip and she was left to lead us all in prayer. Only a handful of us showed up. Most people where at the Radiohead show (which the rest of us wished we could have gone). Radiohead would have to be one of the most influential bands of our time, and since most of us are in bands, married to band members, or work in the music industry, that show was a huge deal. God brought the small group of us that couldn't A. Afford to go B. Get tickets before they were sold out , and told us to pray. We all shared our praises and request. For the first time I opened up to my church friends, I revealed my true struggle.

Let me just say first that the whole goal of our "new generation" church is to bring back transparency to American Christians, while fulfilling God's mission statement. We can go church with a hangover, and not be told to leave. Don't take me wrong, we Do NOT condone drunkenness, or accept it! We do however, reach out to the broken. Our church is for the sick who need a doctor, and over time. THE DOCTOR heals. For me it took two years + of ministry from the church till God finally brought me to my knees. I knew a group of people I could reach out to, who wouldn't say "told you so" like my so called "Christan friends" would. Rather the followers of Jesus whom I fellowship with, held my hand and said " welcome back, we've missed you" So encouraging. (BTW I grew up in church and once as a young teenager knew what it was like to follow the Lord and be in His will. It was the hypocrisy the enemy allowed me to see that made me weak and fall into temptation.)

Through Transparency I was able to talk to our teachers wife. Whom being a close friend I was comfortable with being real. We talked nearly all night. We fellowshiped, I believe this is what was meant in Titus when the church was told to encourage young women. We learned our stories, and she really encouraged me. I was able to see that the gutter I was just in, can be overcome. That Jesus has wiped away my sins, and I have a fresh start! I also learned that I need to forgive myself. Let it go, an realize that I'm the only one holding my sins against me.

Though I know this walk I'm in will be filled with constant struggle, and don't understand why the biggest struggle in my life is my relation with a young man, I do know God has me & him in HIS ultimate will. I know God the closer I walk to God the closer "the boy" walk's to God the closer we will be brought together. Whether God has him in my life as a friend to encourage, or for other reasons, I know we are in His will.

I pray God continues to guide me, encourage me, lift me, and mold me. I pray He leads me in His will and reminds me daily to give and sacrifice it all to Him. Praise HIM for his love, and everlasting peace.

Love & Peace
AM