"In your anger do not sin" Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
The past 2 weeks I've been busy. We all get busy, and I have not been able to focus. At all. Focus, on God that is. Everything has been weighing heavy, and then the nightmare.
At 4 in the morning I forced myself to wake up. Still half a sleep / half awake I felt a presence that was not welcome in my home. I prayed it would go away, declairing it out loud. I sang praises to God, and told the enemy he had no foot hold over me. I was still in heavy fear. Something was wrong, and I didn't wanna be there. Putting on a sermon by Gale Erwin, I finally drifted off. Even in the cd player, I heard unspeakable noises, and voices I wish I hadn't. That still hit my soul just writing this out.
" For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." - Ephesians 6:12
My whole life I've been more spiritually aware of the dark forces of the world, my mother and younger brother also have this. So it wasn't unusal that I had these feelings, and they were not foreign to me. I did, however, have no idea were they came from. Heavy fear overwhelmed me. (which FEAR has overwhelmed me lately. In regards to the swine flu, and death, and getting hurt , and trusting: FEAR has been following me around for days.)
Arriving home last night, I was even more frightened than before. So I had my loving accountability partner come over. We talked and discussed issues. She also has been facing fear directly in the eye. Then through the night, we discovered what it was.
"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:5-9
So the sin was revealed and confessed, and repented; I have walked away. One of the hardest things I have ever done, not to repent, not to walk away, but to confess it to my sister in Christ. Praise God for forgiveness, for mercy and for His grace to carry us through to the next challange, the next step and the next season in our lives.
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2 comments:
That monday night when I entered the church for the revival after just having gotten home from south carolina, I could feel the Spirit of God. It was think and evident, even before the service started. The service was a testimony to this.
God used that time to strengthen our church and us as individuals. Something much bigger than us is happening.
That is why it is no surprise to me that satan would be attacking our weaknesses with everything he has. I have felt it in my life and I can see you have as well.
You have held fast to His word and spirit through prayer. That is what we all need to the utmost right now.
Isaiah 41:10
it was thick* my bad
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